memories

:: melody. - haruka.. ::

The last 2 weeks ive been in vancouver before i left, were really the most memorable times ive had.. because of you.

How we met was totally a coincidence, and you managed to keep contact with me, even tho we didnt talk much during our first meet. I didnt know what to think of you initially, but your sweetness and great sense of humor was really admirable.

One thing led to another, we began to see each other more.. i remembered the time we went to see a movie together with maggie and kelvin, even tho the movie sucked.. i had a great time just being with you beside me.

Just as you went to the washroom, maggie asked me if i like you as a girlfriend, i didnt know what to think.... i was really skeptic and confused at that point, someone actually likes me enough to be my girlfriend? All of my past relationships were really one-sided love.. i never had someone to go for me before, and shes a really popular girl that know tons of people, why would she like me? so many questions were rushing into my head. I stayed really quiet for the whole night.

Then the magical day we had.. watching hellraiser and just cuddling with you when u got frightened, the purikuras we took together, watching your face eating a slice of lemon meringue pie.. when i drove you home, you decided to pop the question, and suddenly it became clear to me and knew i had to say yes.

There was that day we went out to richmond, i held ur hands for the very first time and walked around the malls.. i havent felt like this in ages, it made me regret not asking you out sooner.. i truly felt blessed just being with you.

Then the inevitable event came. my worlds turned upside down because of it.

I told you about the news.. and i just couldnt bear myself to leave. you knew i had to take this chance, and instead you wanted me to enjoy the last couple of days together.. I just felt so selfish at that point, to have someone so supportive of me.

In the end i didnt get to spend that much time with you..

Saying goodbyes to you, was so hard.. my heart just broke to a million pieces when i drove to your house. and seeing you crying.. i didnt know how to handle it, i just felt so helpless. i told you to forget about me, i didnt want you to think of me when im over at the other side of the world, it'll be too hard for the both of us.

Just have the sweet memories of us together and let it be a dream.

Now that we've been apart, you and i havent talked to each other. Ive msged you a couple of times, but it seems like our relationships has ended for good. I guess you've moved on, i should do the same but i couldnt seem to forget about you.. or is it because what ive said to you, you really took it to heart, i'll never know for sure.

im sorry.. i couldnt say a lot of things to you, even tho you were there for me.
im sorry... i couldnt do a lot of things i couldve done, even tho you did a lot of things for me.
im sorry.... i didnt show as much compassion as much as you did, even tho you were doing everything for me to show you actually loved me.

im not saying we should get back together, seeing thats impossible now that you live in japan and have a whole new life ahead of you..
i sincerely hope you could find that special someone you love and be happy like the times we were together.




because of you, i felt loved and cared of..
because of you, my life changed for good
i thank you.