flaws

:: Sel'm - Saezuri ::

Over the past couple of weeks i've learnt some pretty valuable lessons.. and a couple of things ive been doing wrong all these years and i want to change it for good.

I realized I've been a giver all these years, and just not getting any results as i hoped. This is mostly my fault for setting the bars too high, and it upsets me a great deal when all of the sudden i think to myself why i was like this. From now on, I'm not getting anyone anything unless it's an extremely special occasion or that person really deserves it.

I need to put myself first before everyone else.. someone once told me, if you dont love myself, how could you love anybody else? I'm starting to get this saying a lot more now. I realized i havent been treating myself nice at all.. besides buying stuff for me, I've been going to the gym, eating healthy and cutting off all the junkfood. So far its going good.

One more thing I realized unconsciously i seek people's approval, especially the opposite sex.. I guess growing up alone and not being really cared by my parents can do that to my self-esteem. I grew up thinking if i make up lies about my life, I'll be approved and be accepted..

This is the most ugly side of me i hate about myself.

From this point on, I'll be truthful to myself and everyone around me.. because i know my own flaws.. nobody's perfect, and no matter what i do, there will be people who support me or love me for who i am.. I'm confident i can overcome this in time.

I'll still be hidden for awhile, there are still some things i want to clear up..