painful

Why am i such a fuckup?

Thats the question i always ask myself.

10

:: SID - Uso ::

10 Things i like:

1) When friends get me gifts, no matter what it is, its the thought that counts~ and everytime i look at those gifts, makes me think of you ^^
2) Shopping for things for my friends, and if thats the exact item they wanted, I love seeing their reaction when they do get it, its magical.
3) When my friends cook for me, i feel like the happiest man on earth XD
4) I really dunno why, but i love the smell of girl's perfume, especially on girls, its sooo attractive.
5) Oh and the smell of their hair <3
6) having meaningful conversation with friends, doesnt really happen often but when it does, its pretty sweet.
7) seeing $0 in my credit card statement
8) lip gloss is the most beautiful thing ever invented, i have a thing for girls with pretty lips, and lip gloss just makes everything 10000x better XD
9) people with fashion sense is definitely a thumbs up in my book, or accepting for change in wardrobe is always good
10) food i havent had in a loong time, like mama's cooking.. or having a good steak(theres just no good steak in hk!)

broken

:: Acid Black Cherry - 恋一夜 ::

I'm happy for you, you finally found someone you love so much..I hope you can be happy and be the old you like I always knew; sweet and caring, not afraid to pursuit happiness even if it means going the extra mile.

I know I can no longer linger in the past, trying to wait for you to come back.. hoping you would reconsider, and there is still hope. I still havent moved on after all these years.. I'm that kind of person that can't let go of memories so easily, but I'm a fool for thinking that.

Again, I hope the best for you and your future husband-to-be, I will always remember the things you've said to me, but i will move on cuz theres no place for me in your heart.

uncertainties

:: New Sodmy - A way of Life ::

Almost two months of no update; thought i reviewed a few things..

Finally packed my bags and got back to Vancouver, quitting my job and leaving hk for good. The only thing i miss the most is my house, i put my heart and soul into furnishing the place.. and also the quality times ive spent in there~ only regret is i didnt get to live with anyone in that house.. as much i liked to, but oh well.

Came back to van and left for sakuracon; girugamesh was awesome and amazing human beings, they were totally worth going to see, and i had a lot of fun~ despite having jet lag and some minor upsetting things.. i had some good times with my friends and met some new people along the way ^^

Now almost a month has passed since sakuracon, and im just aimlessly sitting at home everyday, waiting for something to do.. I worked on my resume for a couple of days, but finding a job related to my field is just not possible at the moment. I'm in the middle of a dilemma whether I should go back to school, but not knowing what to take worries me.. its tough everywhere =/ I hate this feeling of indecisiveness, i know just bumming around is putting a lot of pressures on my parents as well as me.. its stressful as hell.

Sometimes I really wish I have an older brother/sister to ask for advice, instead of parents nagging you about "go earn money now, go learn other stuff later in ur life" shit =/