:: Muse - resistance ::
The more I know abt her, the more i want to pull myself away.
Theres a glimmer of hope i want this to work out, but it'll only be wishful thinking.
Maybe im not cut out to be with someone.. i tend to give up when i get to know the person a little bit better, and then i keep thinking to myself, "do i really want to be with someone like that?" brainstorming situations as i go.
Time is beginning to piss me off.
2009年9月25日 星期五
2009年9月11日 星期五
uncomfortable
:: 東方神起 - COLORS~melody and Harmony ::
I got a wake-up yell by this job-search advisor, said everything ive been doing is wrong, and it made me think of a lot of things ive been doing..
staying in my safety zone.
All my life ive never been a risk-taker, even when i was a little kid, i never liked the monkey bars or the playground.. afraid that i might get hurt if i climbed on those things, hence never breaking a bone in my body. Even growing up, I never took much risk into doing much things, probably thats why i never had a girlfriend all these years.. i know the fear of rejection is no big deal, but inside im deathly scared of it.
Thinking of all those things just makes me feel how pathetic i am; even my defense mechanism kicked in saying he's wrong with a lot of things he said, but in reality, i know hes so right about it. I gotta go think outside the box and approach things in different ways..
the road is gonna be super uncomfortable from now on. But really, i have nothing to lose, if anything, id just say ive tried something different and not regret about it.
I got a wake-up yell by this job-search advisor, said everything ive been doing is wrong, and it made me think of a lot of things ive been doing..
staying in my safety zone.
All my life ive never been a risk-taker, even when i was a little kid, i never liked the monkey bars or the playground.. afraid that i might get hurt if i climbed on those things, hence never breaking a bone in my body. Even growing up, I never took much risk into doing much things, probably thats why i never had a girlfriend all these years.. i know the fear of rejection is no big deal, but inside im deathly scared of it.
Thinking of all those things just makes me feel how pathetic i am; even my defense mechanism kicked in saying he's wrong with a lot of things he said, but in reality, i know hes so right about it. I gotta go think outside the box and approach things in different ways..
the road is gonna be super uncomfortable from now on. But really, i have nothing to lose, if anything, id just say ive tried something different and not regret about it.
2009年9月2日 星期三
days
:: 高橋洋子 - One Little Wish ::
Mediocre days.. been really passive the past couple of days, just straight up bleh.
might be getting a job referral soon for this elevator mechanics opening.. apparently its really good pay per hour, and heard theres only 2 companies out in vancouver, so we'll see what happens.
Good hanging out with crystal yesterday, hardly ever see her these days and since shes starting school in sept, it'll be even harder to see her after. But nevertheless, it was good catching up with her.
Sally came back today, but it seems like i lost all motivations to talk to her, sigh i dunno what to think anymore.. i wish she would just stop showing up in my mind every once in awhile.
Anyways, tmrw i need to go out and get some finishing touches on cherie's present.. i have a very good feeling she'll be 'pleasantly' happy ha-ha haha.
Mediocre days.. been really passive the past couple of days, just straight up bleh.
might be getting a job referral soon for this elevator mechanics opening.. apparently its really good pay per hour, and heard theres only 2 companies out in vancouver, so we'll see what happens.
Good hanging out with crystal yesterday, hardly ever see her these days and since shes starting school in sept, it'll be even harder to see her after. But nevertheless, it was good catching up with her.
Sally came back today, but it seems like i lost all motivations to talk to her, sigh i dunno what to think anymore.. i wish she would just stop showing up in my mind every once in awhile.
Anyways, tmrw i need to go out and get some finishing touches on cherie's present.. i have a very good feeling she'll be 'pleasantly' happy ha-ha haha.
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